


𝙃𝘼𝙍𝙍𝙔 𝙋𝙊𝙏𝙏𝙀𝙍 𝘾𝙐𝙈𝙎 𝘾𝙇𝙀𝘼𝙉 𝘼𝘽𝙊𝙐𝙏 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘾𝙃𝙊𝙎𝙀𝙉 𝙊𝙍𝙂𝙔

by knees_of_bees



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Daily Prophet, Hogwarts is a College | University, M/M, Sarcastic Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:27:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28608279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knees_of_bees/pseuds/knees_of_bees
Summary: Rita Skeeter takes Harry's words WILDLY out of context, but what's new?
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	1. Article

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote for Rita and composed the article, but you can find the author of Harry at _minormend_ on tumblr!

ＴＨＥ ＤＡＩＬＹ ＰＲＯＰＨＥＴ

𝙃𝘼𝙍𝙍𝙔 𝙋𝙊𝙏𝙏𝙀𝙍 𝘾𝙐𝙈𝙎 𝘾𝙇𝙀𝘼𝙉 𝘼𝘽𝙊𝙐𝙏 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘾𝙃𝙊𝙎𝙀𝙉 𝙊𝙍𝙂𝙔  
╭──𝘙𝘪𝘵𝘢 𝘚𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘳──────────────────

𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 already brought freedom to us all. Next on his to do list? Bring free love to the student body of Hogwarts University. “I think it’s best to show involvement in any way possible,” he says, a soft smile grazing his face. Since the war, Harry’s discovered that a lot of things are possible.

Reminiscing about his various escapades, he fondly recalls a particular event that left a lasting effect: “the one where I just couldn't eat until I had an orgy.” When asked how the orgy was when it finally did happen, Harry describes it as “utterly orgasmic.” Having had enough limelight in his youth to last him a lifetime, though, he’s reluctant to share details. “I didn't realise my every hook up had been made public now, Rita,” he tells me with a bashful laugh. But surrounded by the delicate fauna of a local park, he continues to open up about the times he opened up. “I needed something dramatic to do. I needed some phases and reckless choices. After all, don't I deserve it?” he asks, and the ghost of war shimmers in his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he turns to face me. “And I'm enjoying every last minute of it.”

His past lovers are supportive. Hermione, the dark-haired wix who had a torrid affair with Viktor Krum, has stuck by his side, and the youngest Weasley approves of his promiscuous life choices. “Ginny has been there for me through a lot. She's not the type to judge someone for how they choose to live their life in that respect.”

Harry feels strongly that former Death Eaters should join in on the fun. “After all, this is all about reform and doing better than we did before, right? I just mean physically,” he says.

When I ask him about Draco Malfoy, he says “My _relationship_ with Draco Malfoy?” admitting to the toxicity between them: “You mean the one where we were at one another's throats on and off the pitch?” He shakes his head and looks away, the burden of forbidden lust clearly taking a toll on him. “I want to bury the hatchet,” he assures me, but he doesn’t specify _where_ he wants to bury it.

As dusk begins to fall around us, Harry lets me in on the most heartbreaking aspect of the whole ordeal. All of this is a desperate attempt to make up for the loss of life that came about because of him. He freely admits that it’s his fault. “It was on me to stop it,” he says, voice low. “I didn't do it quick enough. It's on me.”

Hope once again lights his eyes as he looks forward to the “ _wild_ times” he plans to have at Hogwarts. “Personally, I want to just do all I can as a student to make Hogwarts a better, safe place for all sides to feel welcome. I want us to be better than we were before and start a legacy to be proud of.” His legacy certainly isn’t in line with the status quo, but Harry’s always had a reputation for being revolutionary.


	2. Interview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How the interview actually went down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can (still) find the author of Harry at _minormend_ on tumblr!

𝙸𝙽𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚅𝙸𝙴𝚆 𝚃𝚁𝙰𝙽𝚂𝙲𝚁𝙸𝙿𝚃:

RITA: [ she's waiting on a bench at the park. when she sees him, she stands and welcomes him, leaning forward to do a lil' air kiss by his cheek and motioning for him to sit down. ] Harry, darling, it's so good to see you, I do hope you're well.  
HARRY: [ he's very pleasant at first, the smile maybe not _quite_ reaching his eyes, but it's good enough he figures ] I am, thank you Rita. And thank you for reaching out.  
RITA: Of course. Shall we get started? [ sits down ] You just couldn’t stay away from Hogwarts, could you?  
HARRY: Yeah, you're right. I considered staying away, but [ there's a much more genuine, fond smile ] Hogwarts is my home. Always has been. There will be difficulties in returning, but overall, it's for a positive experience.  
RITA: Do you think there are those that want to make it a negative experience for you?  
HARRY: [ oh rita we love you he's brow raising and he really, really resists an eye roll ] I don't think anyone has the intention to make things negative. After all, this is all about reform and doing better than we did before, right? I just mean physically, being back somewhat that holds a lot of traumatic memories for people could be an obstacle. [ very calm he's doing so well look at him being all fake professional ]  
RITA: Do your own traumatic memories keep you up at night?  
HARRY: [ tighter smile now ] I think we're getting a little off track, don't you?  
RITA: So sorry, love, I see this is difficult for you to talk about.  
HARRY: [ he just gives a little wave like 'it's nothing' attempting to keep it nonchalant ]  
RITA: Will you be staying off-campus or in the dorms?  
HARRY: I'll be staying in the dorms. I think it's best to show involvement in any way possible. Besides, with other students having to be on campus, I think it's only fair.  
RITA: It's good of you to want to be involved. Do you think they could use a little help running the school?  
HARRY: God no, the most capable people I've met are running things. They've more than got this.  
RITA: Of course. Now, what is the main thing you hope to accomplish by returning to Hogwarts?  
HARRY: [ he gives it some thought, a content look of musing on his face, fingers tapping idly against the bench ] Personally, I want to just do all I can as a student to make Hogwarts a better, safe place for all sides to feel welcome. I want us to be better than we were before and start a legacy to be proud of.  
RITA: Lovely [ and boring, she thinks ]. Are you concerned about your lack of intelligence due to leaving school early?  
HARRY: [ oh he'd be so satisfied about that the smug bastard. this one gets more of an obvious reaction. a full bodied snort laugh and a brow raise at her. he pauses for a long moment, just giving her the stare ] Seriously? [ he does eye roll now and laughs ] No, I'm not worried at all. I received good grades in my O.W.L's and when I took my N.E.W.T's. I'm more than prepared and I have plenty of fun experiences to fall back onto.  
RITA: [ she returns his laugh with a tight smile and batted eyelids ] What sort of fun experiences?  
HARRY: [ his arms come up, crossing over his chest a little protectively. ] Oh you know, the kind where you almost get killed by Death Eaters. The fun stuff that gains you more life experience than any child could possibly need. [ raises a hand and gives a bitter smile ] Next question?  
RITA: [ reluctantly moves to the next question, but she's taking notes ] How do you feel about former Death Eaters being welcomed to Hogwarts?  
HARRY: I think it's a good move. Would I have agreed in the past? Course not. But that's the whole point, moving on from old ways of thinking. Everyone deserves a second chance. I truly believe that now. [ expression just plain, to the point ]  
RITA: [ he's too good at this. she moves onto the next question, hoping for better luck with this one. ] Do you plan to rekindle your relationship with Draco Malfoy?  
HARRY: [ she's hitting a nerve again here and it shows in the way he tenses up. brows furrowing and he shifts in his seat. there's a burst of laughter and his head tilts ] My relationship with Draco Malfoy? You mean the one where we were at one another's throats on and off the pitch? [ he shakes his head and looks away ] Like I've said, I'm here to move on from the people we were.  
RITA: Do you think Draco plans to move on?  
HARRY: It's the purpose of all of this, isn't it? [ he scoffs a bit. yeah he has no belief in the words he's spewing here ] I dare to have hope.  
RITA: You want to become friends with Draco Malfoy?  
HARRY: [ goddamnit rita he's just very quiet in thought for a bit. back to some tapping and playing with his rings ] I want to bury the hatchet.  
RITA: [ she smiles and moves on ] You've appeared with a number of people online in pictures that could be interpreted as... suggestive of something. How does your ex-lover Hermione Granger feel about this?  
HARRY: [ just _laughter_ from harry and heavily eye rolling when he sighs and settles again ] You do realise you were the one to pull that piece of crap theory out of the air, right? We were never dating. Hermione is one of my best friends, nothing more, nothing less. There's nothing for her to have feelings about.  
RITA: Of course. You have every right to stand by that story; I won't press the issue. I must ask, though, dear, how does the Weasley girl feel about your sexual escapades?  
HARRY: [ he sighs and does another eye roll ] Oooof course. [ there's a small brow raise and he pouts just a little, eyes narrowing in thought. ] I didn't realise my every hook up had been made public now, Rita. [ harry u lil shit behave u know what u do ] Ginny has been there for me through a lot. She's not the type to judge someone for how they choose to live their life in that respect.  
RITA: [ she smiles sweetly and nods her head ] Did you feel the need to experiment after having your adolescent years stolen from you? [ i'm sorry she's terrible ]  
HARRY: [ i’m so glad damnit coz petty potter is now in full swing goddamnit harry ur gonna get urself into messes ] You know what Rita you are absolutely right. I needed something dramatic to do. I needed some phases and reckless choices. After all, don't I deserve it? [ harry ,, harry pls the sarcasm s t o p ] And I'm enjoying every last minute of it.  
RITA: What sort of phases have you been going through, dear?  
HARRY: [ his eyes practically light up but you can _see_ the 'i need to be a lil shit' energy in it, he's dripping sarcasm and turns a little more ] Do you want to hear about the delayed emo phase, Rita? Or the drag queen persona? Oh, or maybe the one where I just couldn't eat until I had an orgy? Wild times. [ harry you've gone _too petty_ ur gonna burn yourself but he can't help it ] I think we're getting off track though, really.  
RITA: How was the orgy, when you finally did have it?  
HARRY: [ oh ffs that _grin_ of his ] Utterly orgasmic.  
RITA: Fascinating. And what, may I ask, is your drag queen name?  
HARRY: Oh now I can't tell you that Rita. It'll ruin the surprise when I have my debut over here.  
RITA: Of course. We wouldn't want that. Now, if I may ask, [ does a full 180 ] which death hit you the hardest?  
HARRY: [ a boi got whiplash damnit he ain't laughing anymore. his face drops and boy is she getting a _glare_. ] Right. You have to ask. Because of course, I had favourites, right? There had to be someone I cared about more than others? Well I'm afraid the list is long. Every death, every loss in that terrible war cut me deep. I carry them all with me every day, they're in my every action. No one death is worse than another. Of course, there were some more personal ones. But that doesn't mean one life was worth more than another.  
RITA: [ she has to keep from smiling. god, she's the worst ] Do you feel responsible for the loss of life?  
HARRY: How can I not? I feel responsible for all of them and always will.  
RITA: Do you believe you were responsible?  
HARRY: [ he pauses and sighs. grits his teeth before nodding ] It was on me to stop it. I didn't do it quick enough. It's on me.  
RITA: [ she smiles sympathetically and pats his knee ] Thank you so much for being willing to chat with me, love, I know it must be difficult to talk about these things.  
HARRY: [ he just sighs and nods ] Wonderful as ever, Rita. [ he offers a handshake ]  
RITA: [ she shakes his hand BOOM done interview complete ]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna creatively collaborate in any way, leave a comment and we can get connected! Lemme know what you thought of this. And, because the world is a scary place right now, stay safe and know that I'm sending love and support your way.


End file.
